The Impact of Family Legacy and The Choice to Divorce It

Posted in: Children and parents topics, Uncategorized- Oct 02, 2017 No Comments

by Satkiana Shaw

A unique genealogy assignment:

When I was in school studying Spiritual Psychotherapy, we were given a very interesting assignment.  We were asked to do a family genealogy study.  This exploration went much deeper than where people came from, what they did for a living, whom they married and the number of children they had.  We traced family “issues.”  I went as far back as my great grandparents, looking at patterns of family addictions, emotional expression or repression, shames and pains, secrets and pride.

I enjoyed the assignment very much and learned a lot about where I had come from and easily identified the patterns that I continued to carry with me from my family lineage.  I am grateful that a love of self-exploration and astrology, which began in my teen years, opened the doorway to the spiritual life for me and a deep quest for true self-knowledge and freedom.

Healing the Seven Generations:

So it came to be that after completing my Spiritual Psychotherapy training, I met my spiritual teacher, Berdhanya Swami Tierra.  Over the years, she has reinforced how our personal healing work heals the family lineage.  The family patterns get passed down through or DNA.  Yes, we actually carry the family patterns in our bloodlines.  When we release ourselves from these patterns, we are helping to heal the seven generations that came before us and the seven generations that will come after us.  It is quite profound.

As parents, we have a huge responsibility to our children to be well within ourselves.  One of the greatest gifts we can give our child is our own inner seeking.  Inner seeking happens when we create space for meditation, contemplation and self-inquiry.  When we relax into ourselves, when we spend time in silence, in nature, we give space for our naturalness to come forward.

Walking in the truth of who we are does not mean that we are no longer challenged; it just means that we can meet our challenges with awareness.  We see that we have actually designed our challenges perfectly so that we can meet something within ourselves that needs to be explored, exercised, refined and healed.

The Cost of Shrinking:

A month ago, my six-year-old son and I moved to a new home.  He began a new school and I returned to work as an Educational Assistant. I felt exhausted from moving, sad to leave the school my son and I both loved so much and felt overwhelmed with the Earth life in general.

The mantra from my family lineage kept repeating in my head, “life is hard.” Meanwhile, Ishtiak was having a challenging time making new friends at school.  I could see his self-esteem was low.  His sense of connection to his new school was not being fostered by me as I kept complaining about the fake grass in the schoolyard every time I dropped him off to school and generally did not feel “‘open” to the new school.

One morning, after dropping him off, I drove away in my car and I was hit hard by the realization of what a tremendous responsibility I have as a parent.  I saw so clearly how my thoughts, feelings and actions, all of the messages I carry, impact my son.  If I had chosen to adopt and express the “life is hard” mantra, he too would unconsciously take this on and carry it with him for a long time, believing it to be true.

Sovereignty…the Only Real Choice:

I realized that I could not afford anything less than my own impeccability for myself and for my son.  I had to just say “no,” very firmly when the voices of legacy spoke, as I knew they did not belong to me and they do not belong to my son.  It was time to divorce these voices and choose my own sovereignty.  I also needed to forgive myself with loving kindness for choosing to relate to a frequency that does not belong to me and any guilt I felt in relaying this to my son.

Being a six-year-old is a tender time in a child’s life where they are forming their impressions about themselves and life.  Any identifications they take on at this time can get imprinted for years to come.  My role as a parent is to support my son in remembering who he is and where he has come from.  I can support this by ensuring a good balance in his life of nurturance, sweetness, play and celebration, mixed with creating boundaries, discipline, good manners, and abiding by certain rules, routines and expectations.  One of these expectations is that he does his spiritual practice every morning.

Know Who You Are and Shine:

A regular spiritual practice of yoga, pranayama and meditation keeps us both steady amidst any challenges and life changes.  It develops a strong inner core and a deep connection to inner truth.  When we are connected to our inner truth, our consciousness is awake and aware and we see clearly.  Here we can discern what is real and we carry the correct identification.  With this, we can walk tall in our light, shining in unapologetic boldness.  This has a profound healing effect on the seven generations that have come before us and the seven generations in front of us.  They too can shine in the glory of their own freedom.

 

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